I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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