He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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