they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
