Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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