so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
