I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
