we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
