I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
my liver is dry heaving
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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