i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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