Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
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