apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
