im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
