so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
