Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
