just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
