Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
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