discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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