he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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