I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
