Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
