To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
