ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize