I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize