I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
