Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
