I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Randomize
