in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I believe in your delicious
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
