Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
