I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
