Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
