Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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