i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
