I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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