there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
