you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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