All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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