Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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