this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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