the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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