she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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