some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
is it fun? or sober?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
