Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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