just come out here and I will go home with you...
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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