ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
