Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
