He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize