i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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