check it out our google latitudes are spooning
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
