this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
