She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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