I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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