"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
