I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
