This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
