i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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