She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
