My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
