I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Swine flu. Run for my life!
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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