im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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