and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
